Funny Children Quotes

By Ms Swapna → Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Funny Children Quotes

"Insanity is hereditary: You can get it from your children." Sam Levinson.

"Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off." Ralph Bus.

"There are few things more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own." Doug Larson.

"I like children - fried." WC Fields.

"Everytime a child says, 'I don't believe in fairies', there's a a little fairy somewhere that falls down dead." JM Barrie.

"The trouble with children is that they're not returnable." Quentin Crisp.

"A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five." Groucho Marx

"I Love children, especially when they cry for then someone takes them away." Nancy Mitford.

"Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home." Bill Cosby.

"Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla." Jim Bishop.

"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he'd learned in seven years." Mark Twain

"The child was a keen bed-wetter." Noel Coward.

"I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me." Rodney Dangerfield.

"My parents used to beat the shit out of me. And, looking back on it, I'm glad they did. I'm looking forward to beating the shit out of my own kids, for no reason whatsoever." Denis Leary

"When you're eight years old nothing is your business." Lenny Bruce.

"In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television." Erma Bombeck.

"Never underestimate a child's ability to get into more trouble." Martin Mull.

"I never met a kid I liked." WC Fields.

"I have a stepladder. It's a very nice stepladder but it's sad that I never knew my real ladder." Craig Charles.

"Children nowadays are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food and tyrannise their teachers." Socrates.

"Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add." Fran Lebowitz.

"Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head." Martin Mull.

"Childhood is that wonderful time of life when all you need to do to lose weight is take a bath." Richard Zera.

"The real menace about dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old." Jean Kerr.

"My eleven year old daughter mopes around the house all day waiting for her breasts to grow." Bill Cosby.

"No wonder people are so horrible when they start life as children." Kingsley Amis.

"There are only two things a child will share willingly; communicable diseases and its mother's age." Benjamin Spock.

"My unhealthy affection for my second daughter has waned. Now I despise all my seven children equally." Evelyn Waugh.

"Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'." Joan Rivers.

"The baby is fine, the only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson." Woody Allen

"I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks." Emo Philips

"Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat." Fran Lebowitz.

"I understand the importance of bondage between parent and child." Dan Quayle

"Until I was thirteen I thought my name was 'Shutup'." Joe Namath.

"I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included." Bernard Manning.

"Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet." Bill Cosby.

"Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say, 'What are you doing here, you've never worked a day in your life!'." Steven Wright

"I was the kid next door's imaginary friend." Emo Philips

"There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: Twins." Josh Billings.

"I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it." Groucho Marx

Post Tags:

Swap Alice

Website:

No Comment to " Funny Children Quotes "