Funny Food And Eating Quotes
"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick, not wounded, dead." Woody Allen
"I like children - fried." WC Fields.
"Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches." Jim Carrey.
"Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are." Matt Lauer (on NBC's Today Show).
"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?" Steven Wright
"Nouvelle Cuisine, roughly translated, means: I can't believe I paid ninety-six dollars and I'm still hungry." Mike Kalin.
"Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favourite food is seconds." Joan Rivers.
"A winkle is just a bogey with a crash helmet on." Mick Miller.
"I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup." Eddie Izzard
"I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance." Steven Wright
"You piss me off you Salmon... You're too expensive in restaurants." Eddie Izzard
"In Spain, attempting to obtain a chicken salad sandwich, you wind up with a dish whose name, when you look it up in your Spanish-English dictionary, turns out to mean: Eel with big abcess." Dave Barry.
"A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch." James Beard.
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol." Steven Wright
"Did you ever notice they never take any fat hostages? You never see a guy coming out of Lebanon going: I was held hostage for seven months and I lost 175 pounds, I feel good and I look good and I learned self-discipline. That's the important thing." Denis Leary
"'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'." Dave Barry.
"Ice-cream is exquisite. What a pity it isn't illegal." Voltaire.
"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate." Jo Brand.
"The perfect lover is one who turns into pizza at 4am." Charles Pierce.
"Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen." Woody Allen
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