Funny Death Quotes

By Ms Swapna → Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Funny Death Quotes

"Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours." Yogi Berra.

"Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees." JJ Furnas.

"Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it." W. Somerset Maugham.

"Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead." James Thurber.

"Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die." Joe Louis.

"He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt." Joseph Heller.

"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter." Winston Churchill.

"Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you." Woody Allen

"All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing." Maurice Maeterlinck.

"A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic." Joseph Stalin.

"Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it." Woody Allen

"Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box." Wil Shriner.

"In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes." Benjamin Franklin.

"The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead." Albert Einstein.

"I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me." R. Geis.

"It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune." Woody Allen

"For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died." Cervantes.

"Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist." Epicurus.

"Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?" Heidi Sandige.

"After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one." Cato the Elder (234-149 B.C.).

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