Working as a secretary at an international airport, my sister had an office adjacent to the room where security temporarily holds suspects. One day security officers were questioning a man when they were suddenly called away on another emergency. To the horror of my sister and her colleagues, the man was left alone in the unlocked room. After a few minutes, the door opened and he began to walk out. Summoning up her courage, one of the secretaries barked, "Get back in there, and don't you come out until you're told!" The man scuttled back inside and slammed the door. When the security people returned, the women reported what had happened. Without a word, an officer walked into the room and released one very frightened telephone repairman.
-- Russ Permanv
As a bank teller, I was required to obtain identification from customers making withdrawals, even if I knew them. On Mrs. Brady's third visit to my window in a week, she balked at my request for ID. "I can't believe you don't know me after all these years," she said.
A few minutes later, I was relieving the drive-up teller and was surprised to see Mrs. Brady in the next car.
"Hi, Mrs. Brady," I said, laughing. "Back again so soon?"
"I'm glad you remember me," she huffed, "because that girl inside never does!"
-- Lynn Kelly
I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the checkout line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward, looked into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which six items would you like to buy?"
-- Bonnie Jones
On duty as a customer-service representative for a car-rental company, I took a call from a driver who needed a tow. He was stranded on a busy highway, but he didn't know the make of the car he was driving. I asked again for a more detailed description, beyond "a nice blue four-door."
After a long pause, the driver replied, "My car is the one on fire."
-- Daemien O'Keeffe
Pulling into my service station 45 minutes late one morning, I shouted to the customers, "I'll turn the pumps on right away!" What I didn't know was that the night crew had left them on all night. By the time I got to the office, most of the cars had filled up and driven off. Only one customer stayed to pay. My heart sank. Then the customer pulled a wad of cash from his pocket and handed it to me. "We kept passing the money to the last guy," he said. "We figured you'd get here sooner or later."
-- Jim Novak
I was getting ready for a tag sale one summer day. Since it was so humid out, I decided to stay inside my air-conditioned house and mark the special stickers I had bought for the sale. Then I slapped them on my blouse, ran outside, stuck them on the appropriate items and rushed back inside. I did this until every item was labeled. Later that day a UPS man came by the house with a delivery. I noticed that as I was signing for the package, he seemed ill at ease. It was only after he left that I noticed there was one sticker still attached to the front of my blouse. It read "Make me an offer."
-- Mary E. Koppelmann
Stuck in rush-hour traffic, I couldn't help but stare when a burly biker wearing a black leather jacket and chaps pulled up next to me on a shocking pink Harley-Davidson. My first thoughts were, "Is that really a pink Harley? I wonder if he's..." Just then the traffic cleared and he pulled in front of me. On the back of his helmet were stenciled the words "Yes, it is. No, I'm not."
-- Amy Carpenter, Fayetteville, N.C.
As a concierge at a posh resort, I was often asked about the ski facilities. One day a couple, who had just checked in after a long flight, came by and asked me where the lift was. "Go down this hall," I told them, "out the door, past the pool, 200 yards down the block and you'll see it on your right."
Their tired faces suddenly looked even more exhausted, until the man behind them spoke up. "They're from England," he said. "I think they're looking for the elevator."
-- Polly Letofsky
After living in our house for four years we were moving out of state. My husband had backed the truck up to our garage door so we could start loading all of the boxes. Just then one of our neighbors came walking across the lawn. carrying a plate full of muffins. "Isn't that thoughtful," my husband said to me. "They must have realized we packed our kitchen stuff."
The neighbor stuck out his hand and boomed, "Welcome to the neighborhood!"
-- Gwen Moser
My wife and I were watching the gorillas at the zoo when several of them charged at the enclosure fence, scattering the crowd, except for one elderly man. Later, my wife asked him how he had kept his composure. "I used to drive a school bus," he explained.
-- Marvyn Saunders
The company I work for offers tours through the historic district of Annapolis, Md., led by guides dressed in Colonial clothing. While leading a group, Dave, one of our guides, tripped and fell, breaking his wrist. He went to the hospital, and as he sat waiting in the emergency room, a policeman walked by. Doing a double take at Dave in his 18th-century garb, he asked, "Just how long have you been waiting?"
-- Eileen Sullivan
My daughter and her husband, Monte, had flown to visit me, and he held their baby in his arms as the passengers stood to deplane. Noticing the baby's shirt, which said "Little Terror," a woman commented, "I think it's awful to have your child wear something like that."
"But it's true," Monte replied.
"Well," the woman persisted, "I wouldn't advertise it." A moment later, he shifted the infant a bit, and the woman exclaimed, "Oh, his shirt says 'Little Terror.' I thought it said 'Little Error.' "
-- Anne Buller
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