Funny Nationalities And Places Quotes
"The Middle Eastern states aren't nations, they're quarrels with borders." PJ O'Rouke.
"Boy, those French: They have a different word for everything!" Steve Martin.
"On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't he said, 'Do you mind if I mug you here?'." Paul Merton.
"In an underdeveloped country don't drink the water. In a developed country don't breathe the air." Jonathan Raban.
"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix." Dan Quayle.
"They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood." Bob Hope.
"My first rule of travel is never to go to a place that sounds like a medical condition and Critz is clearly an incurable disease involving flaking skin." Bill Bryson.
"Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there." Yakov Smirnoff.
"Of course America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up." Oscar Wilde
"He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian." Woody Allen
"The curtain rises on a vast primitive wasteland, not unlike certain parts of New jersey." Woody Allen
"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese." Charles de Gaulle.
"In the Societ army it takes more courage to retreat than advance." Joseph Stalin.
"In America you can always find a party. In Russia the party always finds you." Yakov Smirnoff.
"New Zealand is a country of thirty thousand million sheep, three million of whom think they are human." Barry Humphries.
"If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks." Brendan Behan.
"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a 'part' of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a 'part' of Europe." Dan Quayle.
"I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it." Spike Milligan
"The most hazardous part of our expedition to Africa was crossing Piccadilly Circus." Joseph Thomson.
"I like the English. They have the most rigid code of immorality in the world." Malcolm Bradbury.
"Traditionally most of Australia's imports come from overseas." Keppel Enderbery.
"The only English words I saw in Japan were Sony and Mitsubishi." Bill Gullickson.
"The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards." Billy Connolly.
"Wales is the land of my fathers. And my fathers can have it." Dylan Thomas.
"The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet." Oliver Herford.
"Names are not always what they seem. The common Welsh name BZJXXLLWCP is pronounced Jackson." Mark Twain
"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago." Dan Quayle.
"Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun." Ashleigh Brilliant.
"Americans have different ways of saying things. They say "elevator", we say "lift" ... they say "President", we say "stupid psychopathic git." Alexai Sayle.
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